


A Note on Sebastian Stan

by sexylibrarian1



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Sebastian Stan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 17:50:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16877472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexylibrarian1/pseuds/sexylibrarian1
Summary: My meeting with him. Copied from Tumblr so I don't lose it.





	A Note on Sebastian Stan

Yesterday, I went to Wizard World Comic Con and met a certain person. 

I bought the VIP Platinum package, which included a meet and greet with him. It was like a tiny panel, and afterward, we took pictures and got the autographs. 

In the week or so leading up to the con, I would go back and forth between panic and more panic. I was buying chips the day before and I got hit with a wave of sheer horror that left me standing in the aisle wanting to faint. 

There are a few things you should know about me. 

1\. I hate to be touched. Because of past experiences, I have a pretty bad startle reflex when someone touches me and I'm not expecting it. If I am expecting it, I tense up. I can't touch someone for more than a few seconds without wanting them off me. I've always said that if I find someone who I want to touch me, it's a damn good sign. I especially have this problem with men.  
2\. I keep people that I am attracted to at a safe distance. I also tend to be a little mean if I know you're attracted to me but I'm not attracted to you. That's me protecting myself. The only positive experience I've ever had with a man ended with me leaving (London) two days later and bitterly regretting it.  
3\. I'm an extremely private person. I will not show you or tell you that I love you in any overt way. I will cover saying something or doing something nice with sarcasm, humor, or irritation. You will not see emotion like love or vulnerability on my face.  
4\. I have serious trouble making eye contact. It comes with the disability. Teachers used to call on me just to be mean because they thought I was zoning out, but then I'd come back with the right answer. It got to where we warned them ahead of time. Add to that a general fear of opening up and you've got the double whammy of the century. It sucks.

Now that you know that...

The night before, I had a full fledged panic attack at 5:30 in the goddamn morning. Being me, I kept it to myself and didn't wake anybody up, but I was having trouble breathing, my heart was going way too fast, and all my muscles were tensed. Straight up fight or flight reaction. The girls I was with had to help me get ready in the morning because I just wasn't functioning properly. Every alarm was going off. Even reliving it is making me a little tense. 

But of course, we had to go. And we had to straight up sprint in the building because we were running late. So I get to the room I'm supposed to be in, I find the seat in the back corner, and I plop in it. Jo kept texting me telling me to get out of the corner. 

He walked in late, with that ridiculous hair, clutching a coffee and looking as nervous as I felt, and I was sitting there thinking, "Oh my God. He's real. He's here, and he's real."

Anticipation is not my strong point, guys. That's where my anxiety centers. "What if, what if, what if?" I barely heard the questions because I was hunched over in the corner, looking at the floor. When the guy told us that it was time for pictures, Sebastian came around near my corner and I legitimately averted my face. 

It was the worst 20 minutes of my life, waiting for my picture. I did notice when he took off his jacket and showed off his arms, but I was so nervous I couldn't even process. When I got in line, I just stood there looking like a stone cold bitch. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. 

And then the lady in front of me moved away. And he looked at me. His eyes popped. Actually popped. They were as round as saucers. My brain was doing a thousand things at once, but the most prevalent thoughts were, "Why is he looking at me like that?/Oh God, he's looking at me like that!"

He offered his hand to me and I took it like it was the most natural thing in the world. And he said, "Wow, where are you from?" 

Heh. Romania. It must be pretty obvious. I told him that and he asked me if I spoke Romanian (in Romanian, God help me), and I said, "No, I don't, I was adopted at nine months." At this point he stopped holding my hand and pulled me in for a hug, and I must have just stood there for a couple of seconds with an utterly stupid smile on my face. 

At this point, I realized, Oh God, they're going to take the picture and I looked up at him and said, "I can't look at the camera, I will blink and ruin it; can we look at each other?" 

I swear on my mother's life, that is ALL I said. I gave him no hints and didn't ask for a pose. I had a shred of dignity left, goddammit. 

He looked directly into my eyes (and I looked back) and he smiled at me. His hand cupped my hair, just behind my ear. If I can, I'll edit this post later, with a photo, because the picture is bizarrely stunning. 

His other hand went to my hip. And we just froze like that. It was the easiest thing in the world for me to put my hand on his shoulder. And I locked eyes with him. And I remember thinking several things at once, like, Oh his eyes are so beautiful and oh God, he's looking at my soul and oh... I don't mind at all. 

I heard nothing else, felt nothing else, saw no one else, in that room for ten solid seconds. It was a very strange sensation. I've only felt it twice before. Honestly, I don't know about his end, but...

It was completely genuine for him. He wanted to be there; I found out later that he actually asked for there to be a platinum package so he could get to know more people. I repeat, I did not ask for that pose. I simply said, "Can we look at each other?" NOT "Can you give me a reason to fall completely, honestly head over heels for you?"

He pulled away and I thanked him and told him, "You're wonderful," and he looked so touched. And then he said, "I can't believe you're from there!" And I said, "Yup, I'm Transylvanian," walked away, and stuffed a croissant in my mouth. 

 

They gave us the pictures near the end, and I took one look at mine and blurted, "Oh, fuck." There's a reason I'm keeping my face out of it--I have never seen that look on my face before, and there is something terrifying about it. I look completely vulnerable, completely in love, and completely happy about it. 

And he does, too. 

That man is a rare person. He is unfailingly kind, tolerant, and patient, with a genuine love of life and empathy for the people around him. He cares so much about everything he does and everyone he meets. There are very few people like that in the world--in 27 years, he makes the third I've met. 

Please be good to that beautiful angel of a man.


End file.
